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Martin Western

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i'm 5foot 8 inches tall
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02 aprile

What do you think of this

Apologies for the intrusion,

I do not usually send out this kind of email however I am forwarding this to you as I feel strongly about this decision and do hope collectively we can make a change. Please read the information below and if like myself you feel that this decisions is wrong you may wish to sign the official petition to No.10.


God preserve us from politicians...

  
Please forward this to as many people as possible!!! (British Citizens)

The world-famous Red Arrows have been banned from appearing at the 2012 London Olympics because they are deemed 'too British'.

Organisers of the event say that the Arrows military background might be 'offensive' to other countries taking part in the Games. The display team have performed at more than 4000 events worldwide, but the Department of Culture, Media and Sport have deemed the display team 'too militaristically British.' Red Arrows pilots were said to be 'outraged', as they had hoped to put on a truly world class display for the Games, something which had never been seen before. Being axed from a British-based event for being 'too British' is an insult - the Arrows are a symbol of Britain.


The Red Arrows have been excellent ambassadors for British overseas trade, as they display their British-built Hawk aircraft all over the world.

The Arrows performed a short flypast in 2005 when the winning bid was announced, but their flypast at the Games was to have been truly spectacular.

It is to be hoped that common sense prevails.

If you disagree with this decision, sign the petition on the link http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/RedArrows2012/?ref=redArrows2012

Forward  this on to everyone you  can.

 

 

What the hell is this country coming to?

15 ottobre

European English :

 
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

   

03 ottobre

Bad Tooth


A cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist 
examines him, he says, "Tex, that tooth has to come out, I'm going to give 
you a shot of Novocain - I'll be back in a few minutes." 
 
The cowboy grabs the doc's arm, "No way Doc ....I hate needles and I'm not 
having any damn shot!" 
 
So the dentist says, "Okay, then we'll have to go with the gas." 
 
The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not...it makes me sick for a couple of 
days. I ain't having any of that gas!" 
 
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water. "Here, 
take this pill." 
 
"What is it?" asks the cowboy. The doc replies, "Viagra." 
 
The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?" 
 
"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to 
while I pull your tooth!" 
28 novembre

Well I never Knew That !!!

Well, I never knew that !!!!

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat
his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the
rule of thumb
".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language
.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred
and Wilma Flintstone


Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury
.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.


Coca-Cola was originally green.


It is impossible to lick your elbow.


The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour:
61,000


Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer


Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar


111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321


If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.


Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand


Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.


Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey


In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."


It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law
with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month,
which we know today as the honeymoon.


In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
"Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the
phrase "mind your P's and Q's"


Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they
used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase
inspired by this practice.


Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you
can read it..........

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it wouthit a porbelm Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.




Amazing huh?



~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow

 

Meteo

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